Freedom in Forgiveness
Three Days Quote Challenge-Round Two Day Two
The hardest part of acceptance is embracing the forgiveness. A willful act to unchain ourselves from the pain we have obtained. The most essential tool as you go along in the healing process. Forgiveness is a divine favor anyone may hardly give and someone may roughly receive. It takes certain circumstances that forgiving is something beyond our will. We may easily forgive but the traces were left that we sometimes struggle to forget.
Offenses always cause pain; our pride makes us deny it. Some take an attitude, “Who cares? You’re insignificant in my life. You can’t hurt me!” This insulates us from the acute pain of the moment, but it allows the infectious agent of resentment, like toxic bacteria, to enter our soul where it festers, creating a spiritual disease of bitterness. Such a condition gradually estranges us from others and even from God.
Denying pain keeps us from starting on the path to forgiveness. But the degree of pain required in this exercise is acceptable. Honestly experiencing it long enough to understand the exact nature of the offense is actually the beginning of healing.
We make mistakes, and worse, we’re often in denial of our offense or too proud or stubborn to admit it. Who’s at fault? Who asks forgiveness? Who admits to being wrong? The blame lies with each, pointing on who to condemn. We’re both fallen creatures. We both fail.
Realizing our common fallenness can help us have the grace to ask and give forgiveness. Both need to ask and both need to forgive, with the keen understanding that nurturing a forgiving marriage can prevent the bitterness of accumulated offenses that gradually harden hearts and build walls.
In these particularly difficult situations, we sometimes put an unnecessary burden on ourselves. We think if we forgive, we must completely forgive and get over it immediately. What I discovered is that forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time act. While it begins with the decision to forgive, it may take time before the heart fully accepts what the will has set in motion. How long it takes may depend on the severity of the pain of the offense, and we must give ourselves the grace our healing requires as we move forward to full forgiveness.
Put an end to your deception. Trust isn’t given unconditionally. You have to be trustworthy to receive trust. Even Jesus submitted himself to the trust test, teaching people to see if He was really who He claimed: “Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does” (John 10:37).
Trust and truth go hand in hand. That is why deception of any sort is the biggest trust killer.