FRAGILITY

FRAGILITY

A Manhood coerced with sensitivity is no manhood at all.  Camille Paglia

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Every single day throughout my growing years grannie spent time in the backyard on her garden. I often see her talking to flowers like they are little children. It is something that I always ask her, and she would gladly respond me with nothing but a smile.
The year 1996, I flew to Cebu City, ” the queen city of the south” and the second most populous metropolitan area in the Philippines after Metro Manila. My parents wanted me to pursue higher education in some of the finest and reputable school offering medical courses. I rented a room on dormitory a five-minute walk from the university. A Chinese businessman owns it, and was taken care of by Nanay Minda. She was on her late 40’s and had the son when she got separated. She was serving the dormitory house for over a decade. My dad also compensated her to help me do my laundry, cleaning the room, and preparing my food. Nanay Minda is one of the people I would always remember having her beside me makes me feel that I am not far away from home. She would always  remind me of Lady Violet. Nanay Minda, also has her botanical garden at the right side of the house. She spent most of her time at the the garden after doing the household chores. Like what Lady Violet is been doing at the garden, Nanay Minda also talks to the flowers. I asked her why because grannie ( Lady Violet ) haven’t told me so?

12212358_919987308093035_1165103660_nNanay Minda started to tell a story. She told me that it seems funny and a weird that people especially women who are naturally flower lovers are talking to flowers. Sometimes you may even hear them nagging and yelling at the flowers. There are times they talk so sweet and gently as they were children. These flowers have their soul they respond toward something by displaying their senses too. Like women, they are sensitive too. If you happen to see them during summer? Too much sunlight and warm temperature cause drought. Dehydration could cause them die as a human; water matters and is a big thing means survival. Though too much amount of water causes them drowning and would endanger them too. With few of her remarkable words, I remember her saying, ” That if people are only sensitive, no one will get hurt.”
I often wonder how sensitivity matters to people? I heard several issues that talk about sensitivity from few friends. How does it affect relationships as I general speaking? It could be a marital relationship, friendship, partnership, and others. I admit that I am not bothered by then because I honestly don’t know what and where my stand is? Likely I wish to bid an understanding to both sides. The story stands to rectify and I ought to respect. With a kind of character I outlay, being straight forward and outspoken is what mostly love by some friends about me. They knew that I can harshly speak of the things I hate, and I don’t like to you. I can be so damn honest, and we can talk transparency. Though, several few is not liking it. Behind, they would say I am too opiniated speaking with jurisdiction. I do seem to care not even bother if how they will feel about my words were spoken nor actions that I admit and is unintentional. I guess that is something that I grew with and something that I have learned from experiences. There are people and friends who appreciate such kind of attitude, and I am thankful.

12231214_919987294759703_67570950_nI simply admire people who can say words straightly with what they intend to mean. Can you either accept them or simply hate them? I gladly embrace and respect people’s opinion at me. It could have been sometimes dreadful to heard and learn things about you from people you least expect and is painful.
A sensitivity does not contour and seen to anybody’s physical existence. They are not vivid to the naked eyes and can only felt by the senses. They are extremely pervasive to most people and is defiant over our control. I am aversive to the discernment of self-awareness and self-consciousness. There is none of us can be conclusive of someone’s being highly sensitive and less sensitive person. None of our assumptions would forecast the limit or boundaries to see someone’s level of sensitivity. I have been through the good, and the bad of being a straight forward take me. There are people and friends who seek and appreciates. Although there were few moments, I have been threatened even endangered for being mindless and careless of words were spoken and action shown.

12208107_919987264759706_1228273248_nI come to think of what Nanay Minda said and began wandering. If people can only be sensitive enough, no one will get hurt? If limitations bound sensitivity and observe by guidelines, it could be. I went to read and browse some facts to feed my desire of knowing some relevant talks to address my concern of discernment. There are several articles that discuss sensitivity issue and mostly resilient referring to clinical and psychological studies. For people who have been specializing in such study the deeper they go through, the more, it becomes proliferating. I found it quite aversive and subjected to several who addresses sensitivity along with human character and behavior. The purpose I entail is to equip my understanding knowing relevant issues and a bare face real talk about sensitivity.

12212374_919987288093037_806562283_nI don’t give a damn to someone who talks sensitivity in real life drama. I always tell my friends you can tell me who am I as a friend and as an ordinary person just a face in the crowd. In the same way, I can aim straight at your face and say who you are to me looking at your eyes. It is a living by the reality that sensitivity issues about people who are highly sensitive and less sensitive are underlying complexities over a discussion. It isn’t about telling me that you are sensitivity and issues on it. I must be mindful of the things in showing you and words I may probably say to you? I respect wholeheartedly, but I will not definitely tell a lie with words are to comfort you. And show you the other half of me because you may get hurt? I sound myself stupidity.
Oftentimes, we were hurt from things learned from others. The mere fact we knew it by ourselves and coward to admit. The truth hurts as saying goes. I would rather befriend to people who are mean and cruel by telling me they hate because of this and that. People that are strong to admit they don’t like me at all.
Like flowers do, too much amount of water and heat that cause them to die. You can simply offer what you got no more and no less. I don’t need to water you with colorful words that are meaningless. You don’t need to disguise like acting some finest roles. I simply don’t please someone more than I offer myself. Like anyone else I am fragile too more than I care about sensitivity is the acceptance of reality. I can face consequences and deal with it.

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The untold revelation behind a backpack.

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