It takes us the most painful experiences in life to make change of our ways.
It has been a year ago and the memory still haunting me. The shadow from the past that swallows me whole that it breaks me into several pieces. Months of sleepless nights and the endless crying made me empty and I once became miserable. I became desperate that I isolated myself from the crowd. I have nowhere to run and nobody to go with.
I am in the midst of breaking down and felt the world has turned its back on me and has felt giving up. The most unforgettable surprise I ever had been the most painful experience I dealt with in my entire years of existence. It taught me to become cruel of myself and toward others.
As I began searching for the answers by myself questions led me to ask why among people it has to be me? When I know I have done nothing? Why do I have to go through all of this?
The darkness took over in me and brought into the despair. What could have been more painful is the person you trusted most and closest to you are the one who cause you such troublesome. That even how much apologetic and showing relentless effort to compensate all the hurting it caused you is entirely worthless. I don’t see appreciation at all.
I always value a pride and ego above. It is something that I always look up to. For several people, pride is none but grievances that bring nothing but conflicts. Well it might be and I respect their will. I took pride as a guiding principles in making decisions.
I hardly understand people about doing a mistake that it is said not intentional. I hate people when they don’t know what are the consequences of their actions. And people who reason out immaturity that they were not cautious of the after effect. People who don’t have consistency is like having words without honor. And people who endeavor their success by taking advantage of other people. Someone who pretends because of their personal motif an angel in disguise prevails. Someone who don’t know how to give likely they were born merely to accept.
It is true that man are born without contentment. We are continuously in search of finding our satisfaction. We are in quest of the happiness. That sometimes we have not thought if someone will be discerned. What we may have in mind is basically a fulfillment of our own desire and we may sometimes took other for granted. We have been please by people who loves us but have we ask ourselves? How did we show them our appreciation and grateful we are?
No one is born perfect. Nobody will ever be. People all walk on the common ground and in the same imperfect world. You and I are likely to do mistakes. Though we have options to deal with. It is our prerogative to choose what we think is right. We can always uphold things in hand by thinking righteously. Being responsible and considerate is a must to every actions. We can always perceive advantage and disadvantages. We can distinguish what is right and wrong. The truth is the words that were spoken and things already done is no longer retractable. The fact is how easy to do those things is twice the hard to explain why we have done such things.
It’s not being perfect or nicely become excellent. It is a whole lot of responsibility. That for in every words and action, there is consequences. And someone has to be accountable.
Failures and mistakes are absolutely part of our growing up. But when things are done in repetition that is no longer acceptable. I don’t pursue something if I am not certain. I think several times if its right or wrong and the probable consequences there after. I see things in wider perspective.
Maturity is not given by birth as becoming responsible is not taught by someone else. Both are self taught learning from experiences in life. After all the pain, I seek how fortunate I am to have family whose behind me when times get rough.
God would want me to give up something in krder for me to pick up something better. That he allows me to endure pain and sufferings so I can able to appreciate the best things in life. He let went through all of these because I am his strong soldier and he believes in me and I will. To see life above and beyond.
Sometimes it takes the most painful experience to make us chage our ways. Proverbs 20:30